dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
