too bad you live with your parents still
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
