I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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