The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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