remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize