Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
