Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
