Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It's just like the Real World with babies
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
