Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
