i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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