Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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