He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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