trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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