Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish I only lived at night.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
