you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
