I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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