That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
