yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
