it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
