Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
