Having a random hookup so left but love u
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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