This beer is not sobering me up at all
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
