some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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