Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Vodka?
Forever.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
