I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
