dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
