So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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