Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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