You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
