I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
