so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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