Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Less talking, more tequila
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
