When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
