I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
