There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
