Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
