the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
