weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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