they need to just BURY HIM!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just googled if crying burns calories
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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