did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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