Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
