absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
