Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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