Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
