i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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