And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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