What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
