Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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