oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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