This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
