I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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