The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
foreskin is a definite game changer
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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