life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
