What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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