While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I can't put those talents on a resume
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
