I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
